Well...... I've been lurking for a while - digest mode is not as easy to read as single emails!
I've got a new job...
I've got a web site on the go now.. (details to the SLA part when i am happy
with it(and when i put the disclaimer up..))
My PC has been cleansed of a F*****G virus....
and I return with this....
Watching me...
You, them, everyone...
The Burr in my foot , the thorn in my side, torment me and I cling to the pain...
I walk in the rain but the water cannot cleanse my mind.
Tears as ever...
I see things now.
Things I dont want to see.
Myself, but not me? My face? crying blood...?
I haven't slept for days, but neither am I awake, For all I know I'm dead. Nothing is constant, I care no more for Chloe, discarded as if a spent cartridge.
I think I have a job, but such things are of no concern..
All I strive for is to find myself again, but the whiteness in my vision blinds me.
So I walk the rain, head down, Milk eyes crying.
Lamenting my own death.
I am no-one any more.
No one cares.......
A voice like the coming storm erupts in my mind... ' I CARE'
Panic....
I look up.
HE is there!
HIM!
The Preceptor!
'We have watched you Meek, We have watched you for weeks, You will come with me now.'
It's not a command, It's a fact and I am already following him..I'm in a room.
Its black, but I'm not alone. There are hundreds of them here.
I'm no longer alone, they are like me, or am I like them?
An Angel in black appears before me, more sensuous and deadly than anything i have encountered before
'Steel or Lead'
Steel.
Extacy
Suddenly I'm falling...
I'm alone again.
But the whiteness at the edge of my vision clears my thoughts.
Burr and Thorn.
I see them now and I laugh! I have beaten you !
I see doubts i used to have, and wonder at my own stupidity
I serve Slayer.
I am the perfect tool.
Slayer loves me.
But I love him more.
It becomes so clear as I fall through void.
He loves me, I can't die...
I'm Already dead.R My life flicks in front of me.
And I dismiss it, its needed no more, I'm more than that now.
I wrap myself in these thoughts and I am protected.
Sleep...
Hours, Days? Years? pass.
Suddenly I'm awake.
I know where I am.
Its the Cathedral at Dark Lament.
I look around, there are many necanthropes and I love them all.
I look at myself, I've changed, I'm bigger, I'm stronger and I know I'm beautiful.
A smile
Returned by a hundred more.....
Well thats the end.... (for now?)
Comments to Dan.
Sometimes, I think, I think too much...