When we signed in again at the CCD, I saw that the same Shiver squad was on the sign in again. I knew we'd have to keep an eye on them along with doing our job and I wasn't looking forward to the distraction. Something was still dangling at the edge of my mind's periphery but I couldn't quite grasp it. Why my subconscious liked to play hide and seek with answers is beyond me.
Twenty minutes passed without any sign of Casper and McNeil so we divided up as before and got busy. After I scuffed my knuckles for the dozen or so time, I saw my favorite Waster heading my direction. She had her arm draped around McNeil's waist and the two looked positively happy. Gael came over to me and followed my stare. Cocking her head to the side, she looked back, trying to read me.
"I'm having trouble believing that she can actually care about anyone but herself," I said as they got closer.
"Everyone, no matter how shallow, needs to feel that someone cares about them. She probably isn’t that different from other –" she said as she searched for the best words.
"-chemically imbalanced, borderline sociopath types?" I inserted and she laughed.
"Save it for the crates," she said as she brushed my arm and left to help Angus with a lid.
Nix and I kept working. As we slid the side panel off, the sniffer beeped negative again and I shook my head. The phrase "needle in a haystack" was becoming my reality but an idea came to mind. As I set down the crowbar, Nix looked at me with a puzzled look.
"Those Shivers pulled four crates that happened to have weapons and told me that they were given orders to do it. Since they aren't going to talk, why don't we just follow them around and seize any crates they try to pick up? Failing that we could always lift their manifest."
She smiled and looked around for them, but they were nowhere in site. As I started to walk to find them, she caught me by the arm and I looked back.
"If you do this without clearing it with Casper, she'll go off since she still thinks she's the squad leader," she said.
"She says that she's the squad leader because of her SCL, right?" I asked and she nodded. I pulled my ID out and opened it for her to see and her eyes widened. "Then she doesn't have the authority to order me around anymore. I'm tired of this crap and want to get onto a paying job by tomorrow. To hell with her ego."
When she started to ask how, I said "Cloak" and started walking towards the Waster. I wondered how she'd react to a suggestion about the Shivers and saw her drop her arm from McNeil's waist as I got near. It seems that all I have to do to challenge her is to come within five feet.
"What? Not man enough to last long?" she sniped.
I was poised to permanently knock her off her high horse and tried to savor the moment. With nearly a full SCL point over her, there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it except throw a temper tantrum. Or she could take another swing at me head…
"WHAT?" she demanded as she took a more aggressive posture.
I thought about all the aggravation she'd caused me and gritted my teeth. The squad's leader position was propping up her ego and I could kick that out from under her.
"ARE YOU ALIVE IN THERE?"
Then I remembered again what K'rth had said about pitying the weak and I realized it had sunk in. I was almost feeling guilty about this and it pissed me off. My resolve was wavering and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to do this or not. Yesterday had wounded her, but this would probably break her in half…
"HELLO?" she asked again.
I was a lot of things, but cruel and callous weren't two words that I'd want to earn. Anger welled up in me as I pushed aside the urge to pay her back with interest, making my throat tight. My voice tight and flat when I spoke and caught her off guard. I had my chance and now I was tossing it away.
"That Shiver squad knew which crates to open. Let's lean on them."
"That's a good idea. Glad I thought of it!" she laughed as I walked away from her. Maybe I'd feel better later on for not taking her down, but for the time being I was pissed as hell. I stormed back to Gael and K'rth and threw my crowbar onto a crate.
"Alex, you made the right choice," K'rth said. I gave him the look that said "bullshit" and began to strap on my armor again. More than anyone else in the squad, he knew how badly I'd like to take her down a few pegs but he was the one who kept stopping me. It was because of his influence that I felt guilty about it, but the fault was my own. I decided to find a surrogate punching bag and a great candidate came to mind. Pulling on my slick, I replaced the spent rounds in my Blitzer and holstered it.
"What are you going to do?" Gael asked as I began to leave the aisle.
"I'm going to give the Shiver with the case of nerves a breakdown."
Casper started to step in my way, but someone waved her off and she let me pass without a word. Whoever intervened saved both the Waster and the boyfriend from a world of hurt, but I doubt they'd ever thank them for it. People like them can't see beyond their own noses and never thank anyone for anything. They are never concerned with anyone but themselves.
Like the people in that restaurant, they are about as useful as glimmers in rain.
Just like my honor.
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