For some reason, I didn’t immediately lose my lunch. Maybe because I wasn’t face deep in blood like I had been with the others. Or maybe I was getting used to seeing people die. Halfway back to the truck, my humanity rejected the argument and I choked trying to keep my lunch down. I ended up losing in the end but was glad to be alive. It wasn’t as bad as it had been in the past and I wondered why.
For a moment I let the drizzle wash my face, then decided it wasn’t worth it. I got to my feet and headed back to the truck. The area seemed more still than when I arrived as if the gunfire had scared everything into silence. I could still hear the “BRRAA” sound of the gun in my ears and the echoes bouncing from the metal walls lining the street. Never knew something could be so loud.
When I was in sight of the truck, I saw Maab open the door and climb out. She looked worried. I’m surprised that Chaz didn’t come after me, but am glad that he didn’t. I didn’t want to have to replace anyone else on my crews and I couldn’t afford to lose any friends. I could count the people I trust on one hand without using the thumb and pinkey.
When I got close, Maab surprised the hell out of me. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me, burying her head in my chest. I’m not comfortable with that kind of closeness, and I didn’t know how to react. I lightly put an arm around her and kind of patted her shoulder. After a moment, she let go and stepped back. She had what looked like tears in her eyes.
“When we heard the gunfire, we knew it was you. You ok?”
“Just because there’s trouble, doesn’t mean I’m involved. Get in the truck and let’s get the hell out of here.”
Was she trying to play me again? I couldn’t tell, but it was nice to think it might be real. I got the same kind of look from Chaz (without the hug and tears) and wasn’t sure what to make of it. As we pulled out and headed to safer areas, I thought it was a good idea to clear the air.
“Look you two. I’m fine, a little shaken up but I’m ok. I got what I needed and some problems are taken care of.”
“Just not lookin forward to running a truck on my own, man. That’s all.”, Chaz said.
“Yeah, what he said”, Maab injected. Chaz kept his eyes on the road to look for trouble, but Maab kept her eyes on me for a while before turning back to the wipers.
Alright then, things were back to normal and I could concentrate on business again. Situation normal, all fucked up. I was more confused than ever with the sifting undercurrents of my mind.
We slipped through the gang territories like a shadow under Chaz’s careful hand and back into the area of downtown where we were at home. I eased back off the edge of my seat and went into my normal “hunting” mode to look for marks. Tonight did little more than confuse the hell out of me, instead of provide the relief I had hoped for. Why was I thinking more about my crew’s reaction (particularly Maab’s) than about nearly getting wasted?
It didn’t take long to come up with the answer. I haven’t had a woman for three weeks and it’s showing. Sex is a basic need that I’ ve ignored to get ahead/stay alive, and now I’m getting shaky. My hand isn’t even on speaking terms with my private parts anymore. Now every time Maab or another woman gets within a few feet, I become a hyperactive teenager. I’ll never do what some truck bosses do and take it out on the trim. I need something with more fire, something more substantial than that. Maybe a hooker. A little “Love you long time” for the whole ten minutes it would take these days.
Pathetic.We bagged half a dozen stragglers from a closing dance club and easily shepherded them into the truck. There wasn’t a need for much sedation, although I made sure Maab gagged and shackled them. Two of the trim dozed off hanging from the rack and hung like sides of beef.
Maab and I walked back to the cab and she started to open the door for to climb in. I stopped her and she looked up.
“You look worried back there, I’m not used to that.”
The little girl was gone again and in front of me was her other side, the one that I couldn’t read.
“I know you still don’t know what to think of me. Well, I meant it when I said I was worried, ok? I don’t want anything to happen to you. You’re too important to me.”
She gently put her hand on my arm. I was a little taken aback, but curious and unfortunately a little aroused.
“What do you mean?”
“I like working with you. You’ve got a lot of brains and, this is funny, integrity too. I like being around you.”
Her eyes were dark and the damn testosterone was kicking up again. I knew how to put things right. Encourage the economy: think business and save it for the hooker. Ought to be my mantra.
“Thanks, uh, get in.”
I held the door as she climbed in, brushing me with her hip. I knew it was on purpose, but for some reason I didn’t appreciate it. I hate being teased or baited, but maybe she wasn’t just teasing. Guess it was only a matter of time before I started looking at her that way. Remember the mantra: SAVE IT FOR THE HOOKER.
As I stepped onto the running board, there was a loud “Pop-pop-pop” and the glass of the side door fogged in a spider web pattern. I ducked and tried to slam the door. Adrenaline took control over the testosterone.
“GO!” I shouted at Chaz and he floored it. I hung onto the seat and barely managed to close the door as something tapped the glass and metal. Nothing came through, but whoever it was taking shots at us, at me that is, kept it up. We turned the corner and circled out of the area. Once we were out of sight, no further shots came and Chaz slowed down. Unfortunately, my heart rate was still up there as it tried to pound through my chest.
“Get us back home. I need to take care of things now.”
Alright bitch, it’s a shooting war now. Your boy’s got a popgun, but mine thinks he’s Captain Chaingun. I’m willing to bet mine’s crazier.
Even if Macy didn’t pay for the shots, I was willing to give her credit and my mind was fixed on revenge. Business is great reinforcement for abstinence.
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