Thought I'd send something onto the list, so I'm sending on an attempt at some fiction. Hope you enjoy....
The darkness surrounds me now. It is cool, it is quiet and I finally feel at ease. Downtown, rushes past, oblivious to my hiding. Lights, flashing lights of neon and luminescent colours casting the shadows that I now use for cover, that I now cling too for fear of discovery.
I am a hunted man, a haunted man. My past and future have collided into a myriad of my worst and most hated nightmares.
They gave me a gun and a badge in return for my soul and my loyalty. They told me to kill, taught me to main and to destroy and I accepted it all without question, without thought and for that I sacrificed my humanity. I have seen more blood, more death and more corruption of the spirit then any man should. I have fought side by side with monsters and demons and I never once thought to ask myself why.
And now I am alone.
Pursued by the very ones that I fought for, the very ones that I fought with and all because I did not kill when I was told, all because I became enamoured of mercy and pity and embraced my humanity or what was left of it.
My home is gone, though it was never mine to begin with. Loaned to me on the proviso that I did what I was told when I was told. Now I live here, in the shadows, always looking over my back, always waiting for the bullet that bears my name and the filling out of another form.
Operative, assassin, mercenary, soldier, I was all and more but now I am human. A lost and frightened soul in a world of hate and chaos, where the admittance of frailty is excuse enough for your demise.
A drunk stumbles past, obscene and ignorant to the despair that grips him. Or perhaps he has realised the futileness in complaint, concern or even thought of the problem. He collapses metres in front of me, not even realising that I am here, and I am thankful.
Another enters my sanctuary, and I grip my gun tight, knowing that it is a pointless exercise, that if he is after me he shall get me for I have nowhere to run and this is my last hiding ground. He approaches, I see the gun, I see the armour with the trademarks and logos that are the final nails in the coffin that is his soul.
He approaches me now, and still I do not move, it is as though I have forgotten to breath, that any second now I will collapse. I aim from the Shadows, a last and desperate attempt at holding onto the last vestiges of my freedom, of my self. The drunk stirs and the killer is distracted, it is all I need and he dies. A single bullet for a single kill and again my soul is stained by the crime. Again I am no better then what I was and what I now run from.
I flee the scene before the commotion and the death brings new pursuit. But where now do I flee? I stagger and stumble forward as I seek another refuge. I hear the screams behind me, the sirens and yelling. A gunshot and another, the bullets humming as they pass me, ricocheting of the surrounding buildings and walls. I run, my legs growing weak but I run. A woman ahead of me does not move in time and she falls to a stray bullet, I see the spray of blood and hear her final breath. Another innocent life lost in this world they have the temerity to call Progress.
A narrow alley and I race into it's cool darkness, catching my breath, feeling the burning sensation in my lungs. I want to scream, to cry out against the oppressiveness of it all, against the amoral system, but that will only bring my death and I do not want to die yet, not for them, not here and not like that.
I hear the movement behind me and I run again, fleeing from my tormentors. I twist and turn through the maze that is Downtown, through the warrens and tunnels that befit only rodents and insects, but where multitudes of people live, eking out their meagre and sad existence. I run until I can barely feel my legs, until it feels as though my lungs will burst from the strain.
I sink into the darkness, I feel it surrounding me now the cool darkness washes over me, reviving me and again I feel at ease.
I wait, watching until it starts again.