they say only a poor workman blames his tools.
i am good at my job, therefore i only have myself to blame.
when i woke up, they gave me an invoice.
Karma now own my soul for as long as i still draw breath.
a part of me is missing though.
remorse.
i am harder. colder. older. bolder.
i wish i could remember those last few seconds after the bullet.
i know i saw something.
something frightening.
something immense.
they say LAD takes away more than it gives.
i'm not so sure about death though.
i have a purpose now.
i have a belief.
i know there is something more to life in this universe.
does it have something to do with the next ?
there are gaps in what i remember now. painful gaps.
gaps which frighten people i know i know, but can't relate to anymore.
why is this happening to me ?
after the first time, they say if the work is that expensive,
Karma have to bring you back the next time, so you can keep up the payments.
once gone, never forgotten. ever.
i used to have a job.
used to.
before i realised what i was missing.
i slaved on a grindstone made of corporate might.
i killed in the name of the company.
all the blood, all the death, it was for naught.
then the circuit took me, wrapped me in its folds, and drew me to it.
now the death, it serves a purpose.
i have a purpose.
i am the Reaper.
i am the Avenger.
i am become darkness.
i move forward, destroy the past.
all i have is future, and all i see ahead is darkness.
all i think about now is the next minute.
and the minute after that.
and the minute after that.
the now is still important. the next is unknown. cannot be known. won't be known.
the call will be coming soon. matchplay.
now my remorse is gone.
i don't miss it.
i don't need it any more.
Comments to Arkasha.